I am still in grief... But, my kids forbid me from crying... So, I could only cry when Aliah and Hadi are at school. I am trying my very best to accept fate and learn to 'redha' with what has happened but it is still too early, too soon... Sometimes, out of nowhere the memory of my brother would crept into my mind, and I was consumed with sadness...
Though my kids won't let me moping around the house. Aliah said, "I don't like to see you cry, mak.". But, the 'gem' came from Hadi. When I asked him whether he missed his Pak 'Yang, he said, "Yes". When I cried, he said, "Pak 'Yang died, but Pak 'Mud is still alive. You're happy now?". Who am I to argue against his logic? It's true that one of my brothers has died but I still have another one...So, I am trying to see it from Hadi's point of view... I've lost one brother but I still have another...
Though my kids won't let me moping around the house. Aliah said, "I don't like to see you cry, mak.". But, the 'gem' came from Hadi. When I asked him whether he missed his Pak 'Yang, he said, "Yes". When I cried, he said, "Pak 'Yang died, but Pak 'Mud is still alive. You're happy now?". Who am I to argue against his logic? It's true that one of my brothers has died but I still have another one...So, I am trying to see it from Hadi's point of view... I've lost one brother but I still have another...
4 comments:
Inallillah..., I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't know actually, just overheard Sy Marzidy talk to Fasri.
Sometimes, we don't realize that we too can learn a lot from kids. They are so sweet. You need time to heal your sorrow...it may take even years for your to surpass this period of bereavement. Memories though sometimes can be cruel, they are the treasure you keep your whole life, so seal those in your heart
Dear ezalman,
Thank you... My only consolation right now is that, Allah loves him more than all our love put together... Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya...Amin...
Dear Mie,
I remembered the last physical contact with him was when I hugged him at the airport in April (which I wouldn't normally do...you know him, very shy of showing his affection...hehehe). Yesterday ayong went back to Malaysia, bringing along the jacket that we bought for him in Paris. I've decided to give it to his best friend... even the act of packing it away yesterday was heart wrenching...sigh...
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