A wasted journey...

Yesterday, I went to Perodua, where my late brother used to work. It's in Sg. Choh, Rawang. A place that is not very far from my place but I've postponed this trip many times... with a lot of excuses...

Yesterday, I ran out of excuses and finally made the journey. It started well, until I started thinking... when I started 'remembering' that the route was where Ayang used to travel everyday sometimes (sometimes he used to work everyday!)... my tears just came automatically. Silently I cried and cried... until I reached the Perodua office when the kids discovered that I was crying. Aliah said, 'Mak, don't cry... Mak ni...'. I cried until I felt ready to face the officer.

Actually, the reason I was there was because I was supposed to collect the cheque for insurance of my brother. It's just that I don't want the money! I don't want to 'exchange' my brother for the cheque! Silly, right?!! It's just that in my mind, once I've got the cheque, I wouldn't have any legal ties with Perodua anymore... I'm totally not ready to let go... not yet!

I braved myself to walked to the main office. And when the receptionist said that the person I seek was not there, I was sort of relieved. Actually, the officer contacted me about the cheque while I was still in Sudan, but I finally brave enough to go there the night before. So the officer was not at fault at all. 

So, I'll make the journey again, next week. I hope I'm ready for it... at least I'll have the whole weekend to mourn...sigh...