A year has passed since my brother left us. A year ago he met with an accident and died on the way to hospital. Maybe there's a blessing in disguise because he was badly injured. I heard that he had broken both his legs, and various other injuries. The blow to the back of his head was probably the fatal blow.
I knew my brother. He would probably be too scared to undergo all the operations if he were alive. Allah knows best. My only regret was the fact that I could not see him being buried. I only had two grave stones as proof.
The first time I came back end of 2008, I had to be the one to clean up his room. Then, I could still smell him. When I came back during the summer, there was no more smell of him. His room just looked too neat. No more empty cans and plastic bags to litter his room. My brother's no more. But I still could not find the strength in me to finally change the purpose of his room. It will remain Ayang's room, for now.
If I have the rezeki to have another house, there'll be no need for one room for Ayang. But, that little and crampy space in my current house would always be his...forever!
Semoga rohnya dirahmati Allah dan ditempatkan bersama mak dan ayah, di kalangan orang2 mukmin, insyaallah. Ampunkan lah segala dosa2 mereka dan senangkanlah kehidupan mereka di sana. Alfatihah.
Dear little brother, take care! I'll always love you...